I like philosophy.
Overall, I’m a firm believer that if you are able to fully love yourself, then you can truly love others. When you love yourself, you acknowledge you are lovable and worthy of love. This is the foundation of loving others. It’s also a protective foundation when around other people who are acting terrible.
Without this self love, giving to others can hurt because what foundation are you giving from? Is it a belief that you “should” love others because it’s the right thing to do? That’s not love. That’s criticism of the self. That stems from a belief that you are not good enough. Fuck. That.
Criticism of the self combined with negative thought loops represses self love and care AND fosters resentment of yourself, others and life overall. If you can think, you are responsible for your responses to things in the world. You are responsible for the choices you make based on what happens to you. Accepting responsibility is hard. It means owning up to the decisions you’ve made in the past and their outcomes. It doesn’t mean hating yourself for those decisions.
Self-love means you have compassion for yourself. You were operating from a place where you didn’t love and respect yourself. Have compassion for that person. Love that person. Then, get real clear on what you want from life as a person who is wholly fulfilled from their own self love. From that perspective, you can see a great deal of the landscape. Get up there and look.